- It is 4am and literally no other human being is up in this world. This is inhumane.
- Why did I book a 6am flight?
- Oh thank you God, Serial Episode 2 is in my podcast feed and ready to go.
- There are no drivers on the road at 4:45 am.
- It’s so dark and I can’t figure out where to park at the airport amid the 10,000 signs.
- Shuttle driver, ” Ma’am, put your suit case sideways. Ma’am! There are rules on this shuttle, Ma’am!”. Dude, it is 5 am and you have way too much power.
- I am going to get SO many Swarm check ins today. Parking lot? Check! Airport? Check! Concourse? Check! And gate? Well why not! CHECK!
- How is it possible for this many people to be at the airport at 5:45 am? Go-getters.
- I spy a family of 5 with matching Mickey Mouse ears. I wonder where they are traveling to?
- Travel would be significantly better with less people.
- Southwest does not assign specific seats and the lack of structure is hurting my head.
- Must pick perfect seat. Must choose aisle seat. Must avoid all children. Must sit by clean person.
- Oh my gosh… that woman is sitting in a window seat and she has two bottles of hand sanitizer on her pull-out tray. SCORE
- Woman in window seat. Me in aisle seat. Middle seat remains empty.
- Keep walking, people. Don’t even look at that empty seat.
- Avoid all eye contact. Don’t mislead people into thinking you are social.
- Seat remains empty, the day just improved 100%.
- Shockingly the plane is delayed for de-icing situation.
- Why did I drink that full bottle of water before boarding the plane?
- De-icing. Still.
- Alright Sarah Koenig. Enough Bowe Bergdahl. Let’s discuss who we think murdered Hae Lee.
- We. Are. Moving!
- I will not use plane bathroom. I will not use plane bathroom.
- Apparently the moving of the plane signifies the need to crank of the air conditioning. Unfortunately I left my parka and beanie at home.
- Adnan Syed is definitely guilty.
- Is that woman looking at me or out the window? Either way, it needs to stop.
- I will not use plane bathroom. I will not use plane bathroom.
- Plane is landing. Seat belt sign is off. Welcome to the 75th annual Hunger Games. May the odds be ever in your favor.
- 10 minutes have gone by and I’m still on this plane. Everyone’s legs must be painted on.
- MOVE
- Middle of an airline aisle is not the place for conversation, people.
- You can only carry on two items but the person in front of me smuggled literally four bags. I’m calling the plane cops.
- OUT OF THE PLANE. Stop 1: Bathroom
- Women’s bathroom of course has a massive line.
- Apparently people will converse anywhere.
- Bathroom trip finished. Never drinking liquid again. Onto plane number two.
- Only have access to free wi-fi for 20 minutes. What in the heck is that about? It’s 2015.
- Pre-boarding plane 2 and I spy at least 15 wheel chairs…
- Still pre-boarding
- If I would have known pre-boarding would take this long I would have started writing my novel.
- Boarding final plane of the day!
- No empty seats.. no empty seats.. no people who look super clean either 😦
- Avoid person with garlicy Reuben sandwich.
- Avoid person with screaming child.
- Avoid person sneezing.
- Seat found.. crowded but I will take any aisle I can get.
- Woman behind me is talking about her rash… eeeeek.
- Who else had a motive to kill Hae Lee aside from Adnan? I mean, really.
- Ordering a beer.. it is 10am now so this seems like a more acceptable time to have a drink, right?
- Girl next to me has fallen asleep and half of her body is my own personal bubble.
- How can I wake this person up in a subtle way?
- Who falls asleep on the tray? How many people have touched this tray? GROSS.
- The plane is landing- popping a peppermint beadlet and we are ready to rumble.
- Starting the de-boarding process. Welcome to the 76th annual Hunger Games. May the odds be ever in your favor.
- What is that I spy outside the plane. Is… is that… could that be… the sun???
- WELCOME TO FLORIDA
“Travel would be significantly better with less people” A-MEN!
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